After 12 weeks, I knew the time would come when I would have to go back to work. I should start with I have always said I would be ok with going back to work, because I do truly love my job. However, after mr man was born, I started to change my mind. I wanted to go back, but not full time. I am a pediatric nurse. I love my patients and co workers so I knew I wanted to continue what I worked so hard for. Around 6 weeks into my leave I began negotiating part time with Matt. After a few weeks we had it figured out, I would go back part time! I felt ok with going back until about one week before my expected return date. Then I started having anxiety and being upset about it. Because time didn't freeze like I had prayed, Sunday krept on up and was here. I had to go back to work. I had to leave my baby boy for a 12 hour shift? How would I do this? I got up with him for lots of cuddle time and as the day dragged on I became more and more anxious. Then 6pm came. It was time for me to leave. I immediately felt my stomach tighten and the tears start to form. Mayson was asleep in his swing so I quickly kissed him, quickly kissed Matt and tried to hurry to my car so I wouldn't break down inside. As soon as I shut the house door I started bawling. I was so upset about leaving. Yes, Matt can do bath time and put Mayson to bed...but that's my job! I've been doing it for 12 weeks. I cried the whole way to work. I parked in the garage, composed myself and started to walk in. Once inside I was greeted with warm welcomes from my co-workers. My mind started to ease and I was able to relax just a little. Matt had sent me a picture right before I went out to get report and I felt ok. Once I was back into my groove I was able to relax just a little more. Matt sent me another picture and two more updates before they went to bed and I couldn't have been more thankful. Around 5am I started to get so excited to get home! I missed Mayson so much! Right before I left Matt sent me another picture of the two of them dressed and ready. Just the pictures and updates helped ease my mind enough to where I was able to get through the night! I had received so much advice that was very helpful with getting through work hours.
1. Take a lot of pictures with you. Easy I have about 1000 on my phone!
2. Treat yourself to something you like on the way there I.e starbucks. I stopped at Burger King for a vanilla coke as my treat because I never get them and starbucks wasn't on my way.
3. It is ok to cry. People will understand. Luckily, I didn't cry once I got into work but my coworkers would have understood.
4. Have whoever is staying with baby send pictures and texts. Matt did wonderful! He really helped ease my mind
About 2 hours into work I received this picture saying "bath time"
The picture I received in the morning saying "matching and ready for work"
Reunited!!! I picked up my baby boy from his new babysitter (my best friend and his godmother) at 820 in the morning (yes he only goes for about an hour) and drove him home for LOTS of morning cuddles! We took a nap and then cuddled more. While I don't look forward to goin back to work Friday, I know I can do and that Mayson is in good hands. Until next time....
Lacey
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