Missing home

While I sit here at work pumping for my boy, I can't help but just really miss my boys and being at home. This is the start of my third week back to work, day 6, and it's still just as hard as day one. I cry every time I walk out the door to leave and am just sad. At the same time I can't help but be thankful that I was not one of the 900 in my hospital system that lost my job. I really do love what I do, and love my patients, but it doesn't make it "ok" that I am not with my baby. The one thing that helps is knowing I am helping children that may not have their parents here with them, and Mayson gets to have his daddy at home so I can cheer up these kiddos! 

 A bit late, but Mayson is now three months old. We shut our internet off and I haven't had a chance to update. On his three month birthday he weighed 12 lb 15 oz was 23 in long. He now loves to sit in his bumbo and play, loves his hands, likes his bath. hates tummy time but can roll front to back, he is cooing a lot, mr smiley but knows how to throw a great fit. He hates his car seat still more than anything. He currently wears size 1 diapers and 0-3 month or 3 month clothing. We went to MOPS for the first time last week and he got a little girlfriend. They just kept smiling at each other it was precious. I guess that is all for this quick update, it's time for me to head back to work! 

Back to work blues

After 12 weeks, I knew the time would come when I would have to go back to work. I should start with I have always said I would be ok with going back to work, because I do truly love my job. However, after mr man was born, I started to change my mind. I wanted to go back, but not full time. I am a pediatric nurse. I love my patients and co workers so I knew I wanted to continue what I worked so hard for. Around 6 weeks  into my leave I began negotiating part time with Matt. After a few weeks we had it figured out, I would go back part time! I felt ok with going back until about one week before my expected return date. Then I started having anxiety and being upset about it. Because time didn't freeze like I had prayed, Sunday krept on up and was here. I had to go back to work. I had to leave my baby boy for a 12 hour shift? How would I do this? I got up with him for lots of cuddle time and as the day dragged on I became more and more anxious. Then 6pm came. It was time for me to leave. I immediately felt my stomach tighten and the tears start to form. Mayson was asleep in his swing so I quickly kissed him, quickly kissed Matt and tried to hurry to my car so I wouldn't break down inside. As soon as I shut the house door I started bawling. I was so upset about leaving. Yes, Matt can do bath time and put Mayson to bed...but that's my job! I've been doing it for 12 weeks. I cried the whole way to work. I parked in the garage, composed myself and started to walk in. Once inside I was greeted with warm welcomes from my co-workers. My mind started to ease and I was able to relax just a little. Matt had sent me a picture right before I went out to get report and I felt ok. Once I was back into my groove I was able to relax just a little more. Matt sent me another picture and two more updates before they went to bed and I couldn't have been more thankful. Around 5am I started to get so excited to get home! I missed Mayson so much! Right before I left Matt sent me another picture of the two of them dressed and ready. Just the pictures and updates helped ease my mind enough to where I was able to get through the night! I had received so much advice that was very helpful with getting through work hours. 

1. Take a lot of pictures with you. Easy I have about 1000 on my phone! 

2. Treat yourself to something you like on the way there I.e starbucks. I stopped at Burger King for a vanilla coke as my treat because I never get them and starbucks wasn't on my way. 

3. It is ok to cry. People will understand. Luckily, I didn't cry once I got into work but my coworkers would have understood.

4. Have whoever is staying with baby send pictures and texts. Matt did wonderful! He really helped ease my mind   

About 2 hours into work I received this picture saying "bath time"

The picture I received in the morning saying "matching and ready for work"

Reunited!!! I picked up my baby boy from his new babysitter (my best friend and his godmother) at 820 in the morning (yes he only goes for about an hour) and drove him home for LOTS of morning cuddles! We took a nap and then cuddled more. While I don't look forward to goin back to work Friday, I know I can do and that Mayson is in good hands. Until next time....

                 Lacey

Happy (Fake) Halloween

Due to Halloween being rescheduled in Indiana we celebrated in costume today! I knew exactly what Mayson would be as soon as he wore his Mickey coming home outfit from the hospital. I had to find a Mickey costume! I didn't have to look long. I bought his costume when he was less than a month old in preparation for this day! It was so hard to decide what size to get him because I didn't know how fast he would grow. I went for a 3 month size and I am so glad I did.

In costume when I first bought it at the beginning of September

So Mayson's costume was set. I had zero intention of dressing up, but I was on pinterest and found this Minnie costume and I had to make it (or let's be honest ask Nana to make it). Mickey and Minnie would be the perfect costume for our boy's first Halloween.  We spent the evening passing out candy to the trick or treaters and just loving on our little Mickey!

Matt loves him so much

Laughing at Mimi

First Halloween's are tiring

Today now marks November first and thankfulness month. So for day 1: I am thankful for family time. We were able to spend the whole day together as a family and get lots of family visitors for Mayson's first Halloween! There is nothing I treasure more than time with my family! Until next time...

Lacey

Halloween

Happy Halloween!!! (Sort of). This year in Indiana for Halloween there was a threat of severe storms with winds of up to 60 mph (or something up there) so the city of Indianapolis and many other surrounding cities/towns delayed their trick or treating until Friday Nov. 1. This has never happened in the 25 years of my life that I can recall! We decided to spend Mayson's first REAL holiday cuddling, visiting my mom (Mayson's Mimi), and having friends over for a photo shoot and visiting time. I am glad this is what we decided to do because while many times in IN the weather people are a bit off on their predictions, they were spot on this time! Many people suffered power outages, it was very rainy causing small amounts of flooding, and very windy. We were fortunate enough to not lose power or suffer any weather damage, but it still would have been miserable for anyone trying to trick or treat. 

Sydney's first Halloween

Had to bribe him with candy to get him to smile but it was so worth it! He is fun when he smiles :)

Brother and sister chat

Kam is really not sure what to do with two crying babies!

I sure do love this little guy! 

Mimi came to visit and brought Mayson and official first Halloween gift! The book "We're going on a ghost hunt"  which is a spin off of my favorite children's  book "Going on a bear hunt".

Mayson wearing my first Halloween costume from 25 years ago

Not such a happy camper about holding hands! (He listened to me when I told him he would be in trouble if he held hands with any girl that wasn't me!)

Two months apart!

Mayson in 2013 and Me in 1988


Lacey

Wicked Wednesday

"Wicked Wednesday" brought in my favorite of the outfits! While Monday and Tuesday were spent cuddling at home, Wednesday brought a guest (our Nana) and we decided to venture out to visit my dad (Mayson's Paps). While Nana was visiting we made chocolate covered strawberries which at last minute we decided could be turned into ghosts for a nice Halloween themed treat. 

My little Frankenstein! 

I had to get the matching bib, it was too cute too pass up! 

Probably how Frankenstein felt waking up?!

Nana brought Mayson Halloween gifts. Thanksgiving onesies and Monsters University DVD

He is just so cute!! 

During Mayson's naptime, Nana and I made chocolate covered strawberry Ghosts! 

Mayson just thinks his daddy is so funny!

My favorite pair of Halloween pajamas.

Lacey

Terrifying Tuesday

For "Terrifying Tuesday" Mayson wore his outfit from his Godmother and Godfather that said "Don't Scare me I poop easily" and his halloween hat. Today I decided to be a little more creative with his pictures and used these Halloween themed wreaths from my book club last year and the Halloween quilt back drop made by my Nana. 

Not too thrilled by my picture taking! 

We took our first trip to the library to pick up Halloween themed books for his bed time story. He was such a good and quiet little guy! 

Jammies with things on the bottoms are my favorite!! 

Lacey